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Sunday, December 16, 2012

I need a distraction

This had been a difficult week around the nation, but specifically here in New England.  I need a distraction from a tragedy that hits way too close to home for me.  I have a vivacious little 6-year old boy.  He and his brother are the light of my life.  I am also a former student of Lindhurst High School, the first school in the United States to have an armed assailant walk onto the ground armed with assault riffles and shotguns.  That man killed 5 people (one student from each graduating class and a teacher; one a boy I knew very well), wounded 18 others, and held over 80 students hostage for over 8 hours.  It did not receive the media coverage that later incidents did, and in hindsight I believe that was for the best.  There were no copycat incidents after the Lindhurst Shooting.  But there were many others after Columbine.  I'm not going to make a grand political statement, but I will say that I lived it once as a child, and now I live it again as a mother of a child who is the same age as those who's lives were taken, and I live about an hour away from Connecticut.  They are our neighbors.  This is too close to home, literally, and I'm struggling not to cry or go out into the world and scream. 

I need a distraction.  Alex was home sick for a week with the flu and now Dante has the fever.  I'm thankful that they are home sick because it means that they're home and they're alive.  I've been looking at photos like this one, which captures their personalities so well, lol.  Dante is more reserved and tends to hang back, while Alex shoves his way to the front and commands attention.  I have finals but the paper is coming together too quickly.  My discussion board post is done.  It leaves me with a lot of free time to think, and when I do I want to cry.  I choose to pray instead. 

I've been filling the time with knitting and baking.  I find myself with a little extra knitting time and I'm working on eyebrow hats for a friend.  They are going faster than expected.  This should be a good thing, but I need the distraction of work and busyness and a hectic schedule.  I will fill the time with scripture study, and crafting with my children, and snuggling every chance I get.  Dante doesn't like to be kissed or snuggled, but he's sick and weak, and I'm going to take advantage of his weakened state to love on him and touch him as much as I can.  He seems to understand when I really really need comfort, and will stand still long enough to let me hug him :) 

Alex is well again, and has to go back to school tomorrow.  I think everyone will understand if I feel reluctant to send him.  I need a distraction.

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